Around Thanksgiving I made up my mind to meet my first guy. His pic on CL was of a cock in pantyhose. That drove me crazy for some reason and after 10 e-mails (poor guy, but I needed the reassurance) I pulled into his driveway around midnight.

In person he was not attractive but he lay back and let me explore. I never even got a boner but I felt and tasted my first cock. 20 minutes later I was on my way home.

Take 'touching another man's cock' off my bucket list.

The second guy I met was 2 1/2 months later. I had to drive through a snowstorm to find him. He had gay porn on when I arrived and because I'm 98% straight, I asked if he had any bi porn. So he put bi porn on. This guy was also not my type and he had a bushy cock and hairy balls. Neither is my preference. Nevertheless he let me explore just like my ad asked. It culminated in me coming on his cock and groin. That was erotic!

The third guy was a dream come true. He was like me. He was laid back and he was extremely attractive. He had a beautiful body, amazing ass and the perfect cock.

I spent considerable time going down on him. I actually wanted him to cum in my mouth --which would have been a first for me--but he said he was too nervous. He ended up rubbing his cock between my ass cheeks and coming onto my back. It was a fantasy of mine and he fulfilled it. I ended up coming on his package.

He is the one guy I would consider kissing. He let me feel his body all over. He told me as we were getting dressed that he usually is a bottom. If I ever find him, I just may have to try that, too.

So there you have my limited sexual resume. I am 100% closeted. Only three friends plus a therapist knows this side of me.