Wow I thought I was young. I think I was 8 when I started playing with my cock regularly. I remember it was 3rd grade. Not sure exactly why, it was just fun I guess. I didn’t know what I was doing it just felt good. I also dreamed and fantasized about playing with another cock. Once again, I didn’t know why. I just wanted to. I wanted a cock in my mouth. I never had an opportunity to have sex with another guy. But, it’s all I thought about. The first time I shot off I knew I wanted it in my mouth. I never knew guys did this or thought about it. I just wanted it, so I would eat my cum and got very creative with it. I loved watching my cock explode so I would get it as close to my face and mouth as possible. Cumin in my mouth was so natural for me. I dreamed and fantasized about it being another guy. But, that never happened. Unfortunately, it still has not. But, I am hopeful that is going to change. I’ve kept it to myself for all these years and I’m finally on my way to coming out. There has never been a question that I am gay. It’s just been a long journey to come to terms with it and finally start moving forward to being who I have always been.
I’m searching now and I know the right guy is out there. I don’t think I could just do it with anyone, I want more. I want a relationship that is deeper than just sex. Of course the sex is the root of all my desires with a man, but I want to build a loving relationship and share all with the right guy. Once could never be enough. It’s all I’ve ever thought about it’s all I’ve ever desired. I wish I would have had a sexual partner that early. But, now’s the time. It may take a few experiments to find the right guy along the way. I know how relationships go, so it may take a few different guys to get there realistically to find that special one. But, I am now so open to making and taking that big step. Hiding it and not being truthful to myself has been difficult. I’ve always been petrified to come out for some reason. Some of that journey is probably going to create challenges too, but I’m ready for that now. I’m finally fine with other people knowing I’m gay. I’m not shouting it from a mountain top, but I’m coming out more daily and I’m not hiding it anymore. And it is really exciting knowing who I am. Those that don’t know might be surprised, but I’m not worried about that anymore. They will get used to it as I get used to it.
I’m looking so forward all those first times. Mainly satisfying me and my partner. Not satisfying other’s expectations. I’ve got a lot to learn as I come out. But, I’m going to be good at it. I love cock and cum and I know now that it’s not just that. I want more than I used to think I did. I want the full experience in every way. We can decide what is good for us sexually and my mind is more open than I would have been earlier in my life. My desires have grown in ways I didn’t think was possible back then. I want to please and be pleased with no limitations. I used to think anal would be out, but it’s a must. I used to think kissing would be off limits. Not now, my fantasies and dreams are everything gay men want to do. I remember when that switched for me. It wasn’t something I had to think much about. But, it made me realize it’s not just a fantasy, it’s being gay and being honest with myself that’s who I am. I wish I would have excepted it years ago, but I’m glad I’m where I am now…
spunkluvr said: FirstTimeAgain said:. . . I am a gay man and have always known it since I was very young. Way before I understood my gay urges it’s all I ever fantasied about, playing with and sucking cocks. I mean really young. As a child with no clue in elementary school. It was puzzling that I loved playing with my cock and loved looking at it really made me want to suck a cock . . .
Loved playing with my little cock as far back as I can remember. I started seriously wanking at the age of six, always dreaming of sucking mens' cocks. When I was eleven, I sucked off a MUCH older neighbour and got my first mouthful of man-spunk. I loved it instantly and would suck any adult cock that was offered.

